Today I had a function to go to for a local volunteer organization I am looking to join.     They meet at a local restaurant I love and have dinner as part of the meeting.   The food is great.   The food is also not really healthy.   So I ordered the one thing on the menu that was healthy/low in calories.    Pan seared tilapia (I really wanted the chicken parm).  It was amazing, and I am sure pan seared in a pound of butter– which is likely why the sautéed spinach was awesome and I ate the whole thing! (I hate spinach, so for me to eat it they did something amazing to it).   It also came with pan seared zucchini and mashed potatoes.   I ate all the zucchini and only a few small bites of potatoes, but man I wanted them all.

This got me thinking about this weekend.  Memorial Day.   Picnics.   And food!    This is exactly where I have found myself on a million other diets- right at the center of trying to be good and finding every excuse not to be.    I have already started prepping myself to say no and “be good” this weekend.    I am hoping if I do enough prep talk it will actually work this time.   And to not let the fact that it is a holiday (or wedding, birthday, vacation, or some random Friday) undo what I am trying very hard to accomplish.   To lose those so many pounds.   For every excuse I make, it is one less pound I can lose.   When I am tipping the scales at over 200 pounds (I am not even ready to admit how short I am)  every excuse hurts.  And I don’t want to hurt anymore.