Yikes.  Today I was doing phenomenal until 6:00 p.m. when I went to a work related dinner and went way, way off my diet.  These dinners are associated with drinking and eating… and gossiping.  It would be weird if I didn’t partake.  And I did, worse than yesterday.  And then I got home and I ate 3 ice cream sandwiches. THREE….   The worst part about the whole thing is that I feel like now I should just throw in the towel and reserve myself to being a fat cow for the rest of my life.  Of course those who I had dinner with tonight are all fit and trim.  Having a dinner like tonight is a complete non-issue for them.  But for me, I feel like I just completely undid the entire 2 weeks I have just had.  I am on the verge of a meltdown.

BUT, I will not quit.  I know I can do this. This is a set back, of course.  But I am in this for the long haul, and one really bad day isn’t worth throwing in the towel for the 12+ pounds I have lost.  That was hard work and I know I need to stick with this.   But it is such a long process and the immediate satisfaction of food and alcohol is the best comfort I know.  I wish it wasn’t, I really do.  But it felt good, it felt freeing and it felt fun.  Losing weight just doesn’t feel the same.   I really wish the two compared.  Hopefully I have something more positive to say tomorrow.